Camps said that even after everything that happened yesterday, I couldn't break my promise and had to go for lunch with Josh. I really wanted to see him, but knew I shouldn't. But then I thought well I could always go over to his house and have lunch there. He hadn't been in touch, I think he thought it was off because of yesterday's coffee fiasco, or he could have heard about what happened last night and thought it was best to stay away.

But seems as I stood up for myself last night, I thought why not continue, and braved it over to Josh's house. I caught him just as he was leaving, and he seemed really happy to see me. We went into his for lunch, and his student house is really nice. I was soo nervous, and Josh seemed so cool about everything, which made me feel even more nervous. He made some pasta and we hung out in his room for a bit. He was wearing his new tshirt from me, it looks great on him. We had a nice chat but he didn't mention what happened between me and Summer last night, and I guessed if he had known he would have said something. So I didn't mention it.

I had a really great afternoon and I'm starting to find Josh rather cute. In a way, I'm kind of glad Summer is so up in arms about it, because there's not a single chance I'd just get with Josh to spite her, but if me and Josh did ever turn into something genuine, then it would really fuck her over, and that would make me smile.

Summer just came to our flat. Well, tried to. She just stood in the courtyard, somehow getting into it, shouting up to our flat telling me to come down and "face her".

So I did.

The worst possible thing just happened. Summer's friend Rachel just walked by whilst me and Josh were having coffee, and made a huge scene about seeing us together. She was in the middle oh "ohmigod"dding it when Josh went to stand up to stay something but I just made my excuses and left. I was so upset; we were having such a nice time, Josh was making such a big effort.

So now Summer's going to think I'm stealing her ex-boyfriend. She thinks they're still together anyway, so I'm in big trouble. Every time something goes well, something happens to break it again.

I'm so fed up.

I'm all up for eccentric teachers, but my new journo teacher is a bit of a looney. However, she's fabulous, and all in all it's been a good morning. Not bumped into anyone, thankfully just went to class and came back home.

But now I'm popping out again for coffee with Josh... wish me luck cos I really don't know how this is going to go!

It's been a really nice night. I was really nervous earlier back home, wasn't sure what to wear or how the night was going to unfold or who was going to be there. And whether anyone was going to talk to me, and of course whether Josh really wanted to invite me or whether he was just taking the mick.


I ended up wearing a really simple dress with wooly tights and boots, made sure I looked nice and not too OTT, cos I knew I'd be meeting some of his family. Anyway so Josh went home early in the morning and I caught a lift with Camps and Ollie (which was a bit more than awkward). Josh's house is AMAZING. I love it! It's so much bigger than my house back home, his is seven bedrooms I think. Josh was really nice introducing me to all of his mates and his family and there were a few girls there who I got on with really well. We had a really nice dinner and had a fair bit of wine before everyone made their way out into the gardens for the rest of the night.


I ended up losing everyone [Camps and Jordon were obviously off eating face somewhere] and Ollie came over to where I was sitting on a swing. He tried to talk about what happened last week but I told him i didn't want it to ruin the night, and it turned into a bit of an argument, and I got a bit upset. I just really didn't want to talk about it right then, but Ollie said we had no choice, and that I had to decide whether we were going to stay friends, before he went back to Manchester tomorrow. I told him it wasn't fair for him to force that decision on me, when it was him who ruined everything and was a complete awful bastard to me. So then we started arguing again before I saw Josh coming over, and Ollie stormed off. Josh didn't pry he just wanted to know if I was all right, which was really nice of him. I just said we weren't doing too well lately, and Josh said he thinks Ollie's always had a little crush on me. We kind of looked at each other for a while as if to say if anything happens between us it's probably going to hurt him. But nothing is going to happen.

Josh pushed me on the swing for a bit and he made me laugh, we had a really really great night, and I got him a birthday card and Superdry polo shirt, thought it was his kind of thing. He really liked it, wouldn't stop going on about it, which made me smile. We went up to his room to hang out for a bit away from Ollie and everyone, and I must have fallen asleep cos I woke up a few hours later and was on Josh's bed with a blanket over me. He was asleep propped up in a chair in the corner of the room, looking a bit uncomfortable but I didn't want to wake him. His covers smelt all manly like him and ahhh it was a lovely night. Really great.

I'm finally back home and off to start lectures, a bit apprehensive of bumping into anyone but I'm sure I'll be fine!

Okay so Camps had organised a surprise flat warming party for me tonight, which was so nice of her. I'm really happy, I haven't stopped smiling ever since I walked in and saw so many familiar, warm faces cheering back at me. I love her and my friends so much! They've gone to such a big effort, knowing I was upset, trying so hard to make me smile, and it really has. There's loads of food, and loads of drink, and loads of people!

Josh is here. And so is Ollie. Ollie followed me upstairs earlier and tried to talk to me about things but Josh appeared in the doorway asking where the loo was. I was quite pleased cos I know Camps wouldn't want me to get upset, not tonight. She knows what happened last week but had no choice to invite Ollie... we all love him to pieces and want him here anyway, but things are just a little awkward.

Camps has not only sprung this on me, but she's purposely set me up on a whole week of dates with Josh. I can't believe how sneaky she's been about this all! It was so funny. She'd obviously told him beforehand about our little silly game we play when one of us is really down. And so he came over and asked me whether I was busy on Monday. I said no and he asked if I'd like to go for coffee, to make up for the things he broke last week. I was a bit flattered at first and felt myself blushing but I agreed to his little coffee meet. Then he asked me what I was doing on Tuesday....... and I could see Camps giggling to herself in the background. And this went on and on and on... and so tomorrow I have to go down to Cambridge for Josh's family birthday party, Monday is coffee, Tuesday is lunch, Wednesday is a burger, Thursday is cinema, and Friday is dinner. Oh, and Saturday is a surprise.

And I don't know what to make of it all, so I'm going to take it how it is. This may be my drunken mind speaking, but does he feel sorry for me. Or is just doing it because he knows I have to say yes? Or is he doing it because he likes me.

Either way, I think I should rejoin my party.

Me and Ollie still haven't spoken since Saturday, and I hate it. It's all weird and horrible and shouldn't be happening, but I don't know what to do. I don't think he'll be back in Sheffield for a while because of uni, and I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing. I just feel so gutted about it all, it was bad enough not having Ollie around when he was in Milan all summer, but at least then we were on good terms. Now I don't even know what we are.

Just feel really down today. Camps wants to go out tonight but I know Summer's going to be there and she'll try to make everything even worse than what it is already. I can't have her adding to what she's done already.

I wish it had all never happened.

Josh just rang me. It was a really nice surprise, to hear someone's voice who didn't want to know everything about what happened on Saturday. He spent the first five minutes apologising for it being so late, but I was up anyway, and he said he couldn't sleep either. He said he rang just to see how he was, and that he had been thinking about me. We had a lovely conversation and I really think we can be friends. I don't care about Summer, we just click really well and he's a great guy.

But I still can't get to sleep for worrying about everything.

Okay, so now that I've finally had time to sit down and think about things, my conclusion is that I'm an absolute moron.

So let's start with Josh's party. I didn't even know he was Josh. The uber-cute guy who smacked into me in the street, his name is Josh. And it was his birthday party that we went to last night. Oh, and he's Summer FS's boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend... whatever.

And it's clearly not his fault, cos he is the sweetest, coolest, [fittest] guy I have met in a long time. After the confusion of me not realising him and Ollie knew each other, we had a bit of a chat, well, I teased him a bit about giving me his number when he has/had a girlfriend, and he really was so perfectly gorgeous. I think he could tell I was a bit nervous, but he made me smile and his Mum made me smile. I ended up sitting next to him, in Summer's place I'm guessing, and after a few attempts to kick Camps under the table she finally ate some of her food and we had a really nice meal.

I got talking to a young lad at the party a bit later on and he told me he was Josh's brother. He's sixteen and sooo sweet, I love him! We talked for ages until Josh came over and thee was a bit of flirting going on when Mikey left. He's got the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes ever, honestly. He's really tall and broad with dark, floppy hair and a great, great smile. If I wanted to date, I would so date him. And he seemed really keen to talk to me too, even if I was Summer's enemy. He told me how they're not really together any more, but he hasn't seen her to tell her since he's been back in Sheffield. Anyway so after a while he asked me to dance, and it's weird cos with Jamie and everything, I haven't even thought about dating/being with/looking at anyone else at all, but with Josh last night, and the time I bumped into him earlier in the week, I duno it's just different. He really made me smile last night, and didn't even mention Jamie, even sticking up for me and changing the conversation when other people badgered me about it.

And anyway, he asked me to dance, and I loved it. I'm 5'10", I swear he must be about 6'2". Oh and he's got really muscly arms! My downfall. God, why am I perving over him? He's Summer's ex boyfriend. If anything happened, people would think that's why I'm with me. Argh! Why am I contemplating something happening? It's not going to.

Anyway, going on on a tangent. The worst thing happened when we were dancing. Summer decided to make her entrance. She came waltzing in. With my ex boyfriend on her arm. And snogged his face off, right there on the friggin dancefloor right next to us. I was so upset. She really fucking got one over on me there. I'm still so sad about it, I know she stoops low but... God I was gutted. I felt Josh put his arm around me but I just had to get out of there. I didn't even stop to ask how he was about it, I just had to go. A bit of carnage followed, I heard Ollie and Josh and Jordon arguing with Jamie, but I was already by myself by then. After a while I heard Josh yelling and he was taking his anger out on a tree. I felt bad for him, and he came over and sat with me for a bit, apologising. None of it was his fault though. It's not his fault he's got a skanky ex-girlfriend. It was really nice having him sit there with me for a bit, but I looked like a right mess with all my make up all over the place from crying. He walked me back to my room, and was so sweet about it, giving me a big hug.

Ollie eventually came in and he was really drunk, and quite ignorant to what had happened before. And then he tried to kiss me, and me in my emotional state did something really stupid.

Thinking about it all now, I'm stupid to get caught up in Summer's boyfriend. And I'm stupid to cross the line with Ollie. It's just all stupid altogether. I shouldn't have gone to the party. And now people are going to talk talk talk.

So I guess Summer's won.

I'm finally back at Hallam, and it's fab! I love it here, it's so different from back home. I finally said goodbye to Mum, Dad and Becca, rang Corey to tell him I was off and Ollie helped me bring the rest of my things up here. The flat is small but cosy and I've spent the evening making my bedroom as homely as possible.

I'm quite nervous about this party at the weekend... so many people are going to be asking questions. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to go, but I don't want to let Camps down. I might skip the dinner and just go for the party afterwards, to avoid all the conversation. I've got my dress ready and I might go get my make up and hair done Saturday afternoon to perk myself up a bit.

Jamie keeps trying to ring me but after a while I turned my phone off, so as not to ruin my good day. Ollie's been so nice, bringing everything up here for me and staying with me for the past few days. He knows this Josh guy too so he's going to the party, which makes me feel much better knowing he'll be there with me all night. The word is that Summer's not turning up, and they're not doing too good at the moment, but I'm certain she'll be there, if only to make a scene. If she does turn up, then none of the other girls are going to be there so it's my job to keep Summer away from Camps.

Oh before I forget, some guy sent me flying today outside the flat whilst I was unpacking my stuff from the car. He wasn't looking where he was going and knocked the box right out of my hands, smashing a couple of photoframes inside. He was so so apologetic, and I was about to launch into a bit of a rant... until he looked up at me. He was possibly the most cutest guy I have ever seen in my whole entire life. I pretended to make a real fuss about my belongings, being a bit mean and teasing him. I quite enjoyed watching him stutter and blush as he first offered to replace everything in the box, and then even asked if he could buy me coffee to make up for it. I told him it wasn't good enough, until he finally caught on and started laughing, with this really cute glint in his chocolate brown eyes. So then it turned into a little bit of a flirt fest until I told him I had to get going, and he asked if he could have my number so that he could arrange to make it up to me. He wasn't sleazy at all, and was actually really shy for how handsome he was.

So I gave him my number [I know that's what you all want to hear!] and he was really cute. The only thing I didn't get was his name.

So I've had a few days to myself to make decisions, reflect on things, and cope with the backlash. I've made my decisions, reflected far too much, and the backlash - oh, that's still coming in bucketloads.

But today is a new day. I'm going shopping with Ollie and Camps, and even though I look a mess, I'm determined to have a good day.

I knew what I wanted to do, and why I wanted to do it, and now I have to be strong. Oh, and I have to get Summer back. What with Chef's stint at the restaurant the other night, I'd say it's currently 1-1. I just know she's got something planned for Saturday - it doesn't take someone stupid to work that out.

We just need to either make sure we're ready for it, or plan something even bigger.

You'll never believe who came into work today... the one and only Ed Garcia. My god, I've liked him for ages. He's one of those forbidden guys who nice girls shouldn't fall for but always do. He's got short, dark hair and blue eyes, and tanned and got one of those smiles. He'll charm you, pretend he loves you, sleep with you, cheat on you, use you and dump you. But for some reason they're always so irresistable.

We met through Summer when we all made friends in the first year of uni, although when Summer did what she did and we all fell out he took her side, which was expected. He always says hello when he's by himself, but when he's with her he just ignores us like the rest of them. He's clearly a player and sleeps around, and I'm sure I've seen him and Summer exchange a look that spells more than friendship sometimes.

He was in with his family for a birthday, all dapper in a white crisp shirt and black pinstriped trousers. I have a thing for when guys dress up all smart and clean-shaven. Anyway, he was so polite and Camps said he was giving me the eye all day. After they all got up to leave he came over and made small conversation (all the while also eyeing up the waitress next to me) and then dropped the line which I knew should have been coming.

He had obviously been sent by summer, when he said with a wink "When can I take you out on that date then? I heard you had got fed up of Jamie and dumped him... for me maybe?"

I should have known Summer would play things this way. As soon as something flared up between us, any little gossip she heard would be exaggerated and spread around like hot fire. So she obviously used the opportunity of him being there to take a dig at me and let me know that she was going to make everything hell.

Funnily enough, I'm not scared. I'm ready to do this and do it nicely, but if SFS doesn't go along with it then I have plenty of dirt that I can drag up and use to pull her down too.

Just got home from work, should really go to bed as I've got work again tomorrow morning but I just can't sleep....

I feel a bit sad about going back to Sheffield next week. In a way I can't wait to get there and sort out SJS, but at the same time I'm going to miss everything at home so much. At the start of my first summer of uni Dad and I made a deal that he would continue my allowance as long as I helped out in Mum's restaurant throughout the summer. And to be honest, I'm really going to miss it.

I'm also going to miss my attic bedroom, and I know I'm going to struggle even more this year to fit all of my belongings into that tiny dorm room. I'm going to miss my cats and dogs, and even my sister.

Camps came into work tonight and it seems as though she's had another rough day. We cooked her up some dinner but she didn't touch it, instead opting for the wine and getting rather drunk. I hate not having control of a situation sometimes and I just don't know what I can do to help her. I just wish Summer would fail/drop-out/marry a Prince so that we'd never have to see her face again around uni. Whenever Camps seems to be getting better, that Princess rears her ugly (well, quite beautiful) face and makes it all worse again.

Camps doesn't know if she wants to go on Saturday now. She thinks her dress makes her look fat (size 4, anyone?) and thinks that Jordon doesn't like her any more. And even if he does like her, she's scared of running into Summer, which is bound to happen because of her going out with Jordon's brother. Who's apparently rather lush too, Camps said, even if he is rude (hopefully to be sorted out Saturday)

My parents seemed surprised today when they asked why I hadn't asked Jamie to the party. I didn't really know what to say, apart from that it wasn't my place to bring a guest. They knew it was a pathetic excuse, and I think they know something's up. I know that Dad will be nice about it, he always tells me to follow my heart, and I know if I tell him I don't want to be with Jamie any more (I hate saying those words) then he will know I'm doing the right thing. Mum however is a different story. "Oh but he's perfect" "Future son-in-law" "Very good prospects - his father is a doctor" yadda yadda. It's going to be tough, but I will deal with it when I get to it.

I don't know what to expect from Summer on Saturday night. She'll most probably turn it into her own party. Or even kick us out. She might even start a fight and then blame us for gatecrashing and picking on her at her boyfriend's party. Poor bloke (except the mean part). I wonder what he's like.

So anyway I'm wondering whether to ask Jamie or not. I know though that I don't really want to, I just want to go by myself and get my head sorted without him clinging onto my head all of the time telling me casually that he loves me. But then again if I don't ask him and he finds out that I went without asking him, he'll be upset. I could lie and say it was just a last minute thing, although the brand spanking new expensive dress would give that away.

OH GOD! What if he's been invited? And he knows I'm going, and he's going, and he's waiting for me to ask him?! And then I don't invite him and turn up and he thinks I'm hiding something from him?

Oh God. I hate having a guilty conscience.

A huge bouquet of 12 red roses has just been delivered to the house. I hoped they were a nice surprise from Dad to Mum, but no such luck.

'To L
I'm glad we got everything sorted yesterday
I love you so much
J xxx'

Okay so now he really is holding on to something that isn't there.

Okay so I've just been round Camps house for an hour, couldn't stay over because she has her dietician meeting really early tomorrow. Came home and saw this still up so I thought I'd update any followers on what's happening.

I knew I would get to this sooner or later.

There's a bully Queen Bee bitch at our uni. She's Summer Francis-Smith. Everyone in our circle hates her, and everyone in her circle hates us.

The thing is, we all used to be the best of friends, me Sum and Camps. We were all put in the same dorm together in our first year of uni. We were all so popular through school, all have rich parents and all love the same things, so we clicked really easily and soon couldn't live without each other.

After a while it became obvious that Summer was more high-maintenence than the rest of us, and cracks started to appear in our friendship towards the end of the first year. She was always so bossy, and so bitchy that we got fed up of being labelled for something that only she should take the blame for.

But we stuck to it and all got a house together for our second year. Things were really strained and we had the most awful arguments, all being so fierce to each other especially when we were drunk. All hell broke loose at our final house party in April when Summer got drunk and let slip that she had been sleeping with Camps boyfriend, because "he clearly found me more sexy and interesting than that fat-arsed mental cow." We had to be torn apart from each other and since that day it's been war.

Camps had been with her boyfriend for two years, and I don't know how Summer got away with keeping it a secret. To be honest she's completely gorgeous, with her dark skin, oriental looks and shiny hair. She's skinny and a complete fashion addict, but she's a bitch. And people don't do that to their friends. Even now she's apparently going out with one of the most gorgeous yet down-to-earth guys around, and yet he runs after her like a puppy. That's what guys do... she bats her long eyelashes and reels in the nicest guys, only to take all of their money and treat them like crap. Then as soon as they tell her they're fed up with her, she turns on the charm and they're like putty in her hand. She can make someone feel a million dollars one minute and then scream at them the next.

I would say it's not her fault and it's all down to her spoilt childhood, but we all have rich parents and we're all given everything we've ever wanted. That doesn't mean that we all turn out to be evil.

Anyway, Camps really struggled for the whole summer and the 'fat' jibe got to her so much that she's gone from 9st to 7st this summer. That's 2st in 4 months. Me and the girls have been worried sick and her parents were thinking of getting her institutionalised before we were able to persuade them otherwise. Camps doesn't need to be locked away, she needs to be loved and she needs to trust her real friends and believe that they won't dump her and leave her just like Summer did.

She's been doing well over the past couple of weeks and having dates with this guy has really cheered her up, she's even put on a few pounds. She's always been a little crazy, we all know that, and she has got worse but that's only because that stupid bitch cut her down like nobody's business.

We haven't seen Summer all summer (god what a pathetic name, it does make me laugh), until tonight when Camps had a perfect date with Jordon and decided to go back to his so he could drive her home. She was laughing at one of his jokes before suddenly Summer was at the top of the stairs and started yelling at her to get the hell out of her boyfriend's house. Camps was startled to see her there in the first place and when she didn't move Summer started giving her more abuse about her weight, accusing her of getting skinny to steal Summer's boyfriend off of her. Camps eventually ran out of the house and Jordon and his brother followed her, and Summer started reeling off again, yelling at her boyfriend to stick up for her and not Camps, because Camps was mental and even he calls her mental all of the time.

She rang me when she was running home, and I went straight over to find her in a right state. I can't believe Summer would stoop that low to take digs out of her now, especially when she was all by herself with no-one to stick up for her. I don't really know what to do at the minute but I've rang around the girls and hopefully one of us will come up with a plan to make Camps feel better and to get revenge on that stupid cow.

Uni starts next week and although Summer isn't in any of my or Camps' classes, our halls are merely a street away from hers and we already bump into her all of the time. It's going to be a nightmare, and it's going to be war, and it's not going to be pretty.

That's not even the worst of it. Camps is absolutely crazy about this Jordon guy. But if he's the brother of Summer's boyfriend (who doesn't seem to be all that nice after all after calling my best friend a loony) then it's going to get very messy indeed.

So let's call war.

Camps has just called, in floods of tears, begging me to come over and all I caught were the words 'Jordon' 'ran' and worst of all, 'Summer Francis-Smith'

This is not good.

Today didn't go so well. I feel so upset. There's a new shopping centre opened in town and I hadn't been there yet so me and Jamie decided to meet there to do some shopping and go for lunch. I thought that seems as we haven't really seen each other for a long time, we'd have so much to talk about, but I was so wrong.

I met him outside the new H&M and to anyone else he looked oh so gorgeous in some tight jeans, a blue cardigan and white pumps. But to me, there was just nothing there. I felt hardly anything at all when he bounded up to me and gave me a huge hug. I feel so terrible and confused, but I can't lie to myself anymore. It's just not there. He looked too try-hard, as if he knew that he was there to salvage something.

I feel so awful, because he made an effort, offering to buy me things and paying for lunch, but to me it just seemed as though he was going through the motions... he didn't really want to buy me that new cardigan, but he was so used to buying me things that he just picked it up off my arm and took it to the till before handing it straight over to me. He didn't once tell me I looked pretty or that he was glad to see me again properly, the small stuff doesn't seem important any more.
So we went around the shops for a bit although I wasn't even taken in by the new stores. Usually I'd be so excited about the coats and boots and winter clothes in all of our new fabulous shops, but I wasn't even fazed. Jamie bought me a new coat and cardigan and top and leggings all totalling £158, and even though I argued and argued, he wasn't having any of it and just swiped his Visa through asthough he was purchasing a Starbucks.

All throughout this time we hardly said a word to each other, just small-talk and gossip. I think Jamie was fine just walking along hand in hand in silence, but a comfortable silence for me isn't comforting any more, it's... boring. There's no excitement between us, and it just shows that if we can't have an exciting time together after so long apart then what is there left?

I know that I'm going to break his heart, but I'm sad about it too. We've been together for almost three years, ever since I was 17. We've grown up together, and I love him very much I really do. He's kind, and caring, and gorgeous, and lovely, and we're so good together - everyone always tells us we're the perfect couple - but I just don't feel it any more.

So now I'm home and looking at all of these gorgeous clothes he's bought me, wearing the necklace he gave me for our first anniversary, the watch he bought me for my 20th birthday, the photo frames of our happy faces all around my room. We even chose to go to the same uni so that we could be together. Looking back at it now we were so happy, I just think we've run our course, however much it's going to hurt us both.

Argh.

I went shopping today to find a new dress for a party we're going to next Saturday. My best friend has started dating this new guy who she's absolutely mad about, and his brother's having a huge birthday bash next weekend so Camps is pretty intent on going and dragging me along with her. It's at Cutler's, I really love it in there, it's lovely. Their parents are really rich and are apparently going all out for it, it sounds really exciting!

I looked everywhere for a dress and finally spotted one in Karen Millen. It's a really pale gold colour and it's gorgeous, quite simple and long and down to earth compared to Camps, whose is red and really low and short. It's Vivienne Westwood though and really gorgeous, although I'm not sure it's suitable for a sit-down dinner and party at Cutler's. She's so adorable, she falls in love so easily!

I'm Camps' +1 for it, which means that I can't take my own guest, so I'm guessing Jamie is out of the question. I don't mind having another girlie night, even though I'll probably feel a bit third wheel with Camps and her new boyfriend eating face all night. The things you do for your best friend!

Camps thinks we should arrive in a limo, but I feel really cheeky asking Dad to hire one for us seems as he's just splashed our for my holiday and my third year uni rent. He said he doesn't mind - he always feels guilty for spending so much on Corey when he was younger - but anyway I think it's making a bit too much effort, I just have to persuade Camps to agree!

Thinking about this party is getting me all excited for my own - Mum and I have started planning my 21st, and it's going to be so glamourous! She has all these wonderful ideas set out, although we can't decide on a venue yet. I'm not even sure if I want a big massive 'do, even though the girls and Mum have already planned for it to be. I'm sure it'll be fabulous, I'm just not sure what I want!

Anyway, I'm seeing Jamie for the first time in what seems like forever tomorrow. I think we're going to go shopping and grab some lunch. I'm quite looking forward to seeing him, although I'm a bit nervous that things won't go as smoothly as I hope. Wish me luck!!

I can't believe Summer is over!!!

Uni starts again next week, and I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it or not. Summer has been so hectic and never ending, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to cope with my third year uni work on top of all of that. Big pressure from my parents to do well this year, it's quite scary!

Summer has been full of ups and downs. My best friend Lauren has overcome her eating disorder (caused by some stupid bitch in the second year, I'll come to that one day soon I'm sure...) and she's getting a lot better, growing in confidence every day. I've been spending a lot of time with her and all of the girls for the past few months, and it's really changed my outlook on life. It sounds awful but I think me and my boyfriend are going to have to have some kind of crisis talk soon, as I've hardly seen him over the past few weeks, and to be honest I haven't really missed him all that much. We've been going out for 3 years, since I was 17, and I used to think it was great being comfortable as we are, but now... I don't know, after a summer of 'freedom' and not having to stay indoors and not seeing each other to fight and... I think I need a break from it all. Uni's starting again, and that just causes a whole load of new problems where me and Jamie are concerned...

I'm looking forward to seeing all of my uni friends again, we had such a fab year and I can't wait to move back into halls this year, hopefully it'll be less stressful than trying to run our own house again!!! My family are sad to see me go back up to Sheffield, although it's been a bit crowded in my house this summer. Either Lauren's always been around, or my brother's been dragging all his mates over for bbqs and ps3 competitions. He's 16 now and growing up so fast, he's always joking that he's going to be more popular than me soon, and god he's going to break hearts!

Right now the girls are helping me to pack my life up ready for the flat, and I'm just off into town to print out some of the best summer pics for my bedroom wall... the memories of a perfect summer!

Lilly xxx

I'm Lilly, I'm 20 from Leicester. I'm just about to go into my second year studying English at Sheffield Hallam and I'm loving every minute of it.

I love my friends, my family, and a Starbucks white mocha with cream. Welcome to my world!










September 2008
October 2008


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